Thousands of connections. Years of leadership experience. A strong academic record. But when I needed help the most, I realized something was missing.
When I graduated from the University of Alabama, I had a bachelor’s degree in aerospace engineering, a French minor, and an MBA. I had maintained an A-average GPA in one of the most challenging engineering disciplines, served two terms as president of our National Society of Black Engineers (NSBE) chapter, and spent years building my professional reputation.
I had done everything I was told I needed to do to be successful.
And I didn’t have a freaking job.
Yep. No job.
Some opportunities I had expected to work out didn’t, and despite submitting applications and doing everything I could to find another position, nothing seemed to be coming together. It was an incredibly difficult period for me.
After spending years working toward a career in aerospace engineering, I found myself back home working in my family’s pest control business. Within a week, I had gone from celebrating years of academic achievement to spending my days outside doing pest control. Talk about a humbling experience.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with pest control or working in a family business. But I had spent years pursuing something very specific, and I wasn’t ready to give up on that dream.
I knew I needed to figure something out. And that’s when I realized something that completely changed how I viewed networking.
I Had Built a Network, but I Had Never Tapped Into It
In my previous article, I talked about how I intentionally built my professional reputation through LinkedIn, campus involvement, conferences, and leadership opportunities. I had spent years developing an online presence. People followed my journey, liked my posts, shared my accomplishments, and connected with me.
But when I found myself unemployed after graduation, I realized something. I had never really learned how to tap into that network.
I had all these connections, but when it came time to ask someone for help, I barely felt comfortable reaching out to anybody. There were a few people I felt somewhat comfortable contacting, but even those conversations were difficult.
And I’ll admit something: a lot of that discomfort came from pride.
Here I was, a two-term NSBE president with multiple degrees, leadership experience, and a professional reputation I’d spent years developing. And I couldn’t find a job.
It felt embarrassing to ask for help when I thought I was supposed to have everything figured out.
I even returned to the University of Alabama to attend a career fair after graduating. That was one of the most humbling things I’d done. But I needed a job, and I wasn’t going to let my pride stop me from pursuing the career I’d worked so hard for.
Looking back, I realize how important that experience was. It forced me to recognize the difference between having connections and having relationships.
Behind Every Professional Profile Is a Real Person
One of the biggest lessons I learned is that the professional world can sometimes feel like a performance. We post our accomplishments, share our promotions, celebrate our successes, and present the best versions of ourselves. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that.
But behind every LinkedIn profile, impressive job title, and professional accomplishment is a real person. Someone with experiences, challenges, ambitions, fears, and lessons worth learning from.
I had always enjoyed meeting people and genuinely cared about others. But this experience challenged me to develop a different level of vulnerability. I needed to become more comfortable asking questions, admitting when I didn’t know something, and seeking guidance from people who had experiences I could learn from.
That meant reaching out without feeling like I needed to impress anybody. It meant learning how to develop mentorship relationships, have meaningful conversations, and allow people to pour into me just as I wanted to pour into others.
And over time, those relationships began to compound.
I’ve learned that networking isn’t simply about who knows your name. It’s about developing relationships where people genuinely know you, understand what you’re working toward, and care about your success. And you should feel the same way about them.
Stop Collecting Connections. Start Building Relationships.
This lesson applies just as much to entrepreneurship as it does to professional development.
As business owners and entrepreneurs, it’s easy to get caught up in numbers. Followers. Impressions. Likes. Shares. Connections.
We can spend so much time trying to build an audience that we forget to develop actual relationships with the people in it. But what good is having thousands of connections if you don’t feel comfortable having a genuine conversation with any of them?
I’m not suggesting you need to become best friends with everyone who follows you. That’s neither realistic nor necessary. What I am suggesting is that depth matters just as much as reach.
And developing that depth doesn’t have to be complicated.
Follow up with people you’ve met. Ask genuine questions about their experiences. Take an interest in what they’re building. Celebrate their accomplishments. Offer help when you can, without expecting something in return.
You might meet another entrepreneur who’s navigating challenges similar to yours. Neither of you has everything figured out, but you can exchange ideas, share lessons, and encourage one another.
There’s no hidden agenda. You both understand that you’re trying to grow. That’s the beauty of genuine relationships.
Great minds don’t just think alike. Great minds think together.
And as Scripture reminds us, iron sharpens iron.
I want to be surrounded by people who challenge me to grow, and I want to contribute to their growth as well. That’s what meaningful networking should look like.
Build a Network That You Can Actually Lean On
Something I’ve come to appreciate is how naturally people support those they have genuine relationships with.
When someone you know publishes a book, launches a business, receives a promotion, or accomplishes something meaningful, you should be excited for them. Maybe you purchase their product. Maybe you share their work. Maybe you introduce them to someone who could help.
Not because you’re expecting a favor in return, but because you genuinely want to see them succeed. And when you’ve developed those kinds of relationships, people may be equally excited to support you.
That’s far more meaningful than chasing engagement from people who barely know you.
My experience after graduation taught me that a professional reputation can open doors, but genuine relationships give that reputation depth. Building visibility was an important first step in my journey. Learning how to connect with people beyond the surface was the next.
And it’s a lesson I’m still applying today as I continue building my career, my business, and my community.
So, whether you’re a student, a working professional, or an entrepreneur, I want to leave you with a question:
Are you building a network of people who recognize your name, or relationships with people who actually know you?
There’s value in both, but don’t confuse one for the other. Be willing to ask for help. Be willing to give it. Take an interest in people beyond what they can do for you.
And don’t wait until you desperately need your network to start developing meaningful relationships.
Stop building connections that exist only on a screen. Start building relationships that matter.
At MKé Exchange, we believe meaningful conversations and genuine relationships can create opportunities for growth. Explore more stories, resources, and opportunities to connect at mkeexchange.com.